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Lonely by ~Yureko:iconYureko:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Horror & Macabre > Open




No one was ever here,
To dry every single tear...
No one was ever there,
To make things a little more fair...

I’m always left to stand alone,
In the middle of an empty room...
Because no one is ever home,
To chase away the gloom...

So silence becomes my friend,
As my voice fades away...
There was no use for it anyway...
So long ago was its end...

Darkness will take over the light,
Nothing could ever again make things right...
As everything vanishes in the mist,
All that is left is one bloody wrist...

And a grave shall then be,
My one and only memory...
As I fall in an eternal sleep,
One so peaceful and deep...
©2004-2009 ~Yureko
:iconyureko:

Author's Comments

Gotta start somewhere eh? I was NEVER good in poetry so be nice... This is my first, wrote it at 3 in the morning and for some reason I like the way it came out, even if it doesn't come close to some of the things I've read by you guys.

Comments


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:iconstreakedlemur:
~StreakedLemur Dec 20, 2004, 11:48:43 PM
Its not that bad.
You've got a consistant rhyme scheme going and it doesn't seem forced, y'know?
I like how you build the imagery with your words. I can pictured these whispered, like people do when they're crying?
;)
:iconyureko:
~Yureko Dec 20, 2004, 11:49:53 PM
Aww! Thank you so much! You have no idea how much that means to me!:hug:

--
:flagcanada: °~Yureko~° :dance:
:iconstreakedlemur:
~StreakedLemur Dec 20, 2004, 11:51:28 PM
:)
You're welcome.
*thumbs up*
:iconravensmuse:
~ravensmuse Dec 20, 2004, 11:52:51 PM
Excellent, like I told you it would be. Simple, clean, well done, and you even picked an image that goes with it. Gold star girl :)
:iconyureko:
~Yureko Dec 20, 2004, 11:54:24 PM
Awwww!:blush: You're just being nice. But thank you, for your help and for pushing me to post it.:hug: I greatly appreciate it.

--
:flagcanada: °~Yureko~° :dance:
:iconneophoenix:
~NeoPhoenix Dec 21, 2004, 5:30:25 AM
I like it. ^_^
If this was the first one I'd like to see a second one.
:iconsackermanmo:
=sackermanmo Dec 21, 2004, 6:46:41 AM
Nicely done! The imagery is very well conveyed. Your rhyming scheme is almost perfect (you switch the placement of rhyming lines in each stanza, rather than picking a form staying with it ... not a bad thing necessarily). Your meter (the "pattern" of beats in the poem) is also nearly perfect.

Rhyming metered poetry is, in my opinion, the most difficult form of poetry to pull off. You've nothing to be embarrassed about in this first attempt. You should be quite pleased.

--
The universe runs in cycles, meaning that focusing on the horizon means nothing because in the end all you're really doing is looking up your own ass, so just enjoy the walk.

-- David Dustin Walling
:iconmatsudai-suki:
~Matsudai-suki Dec 21, 2004, 8:25:53 AM
DUDE! :O you are SOOOOO not alone!!!!!!!!! (good poem, BUT STILL!!!! N-O-T A-L-O-N-E, get it! got it?! GOOD!)

--
I object your reality and substitute my own!

~°Matsudai-suki°~
:iconknight19:
~Knight19 Dec 21, 2004, 9:14:24 AM
very nice good job
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